This place I'll just leave a message when I feel like it- an archive of my thoughts you could say?
I made alot of updates to my site. This site. I added an area in the style of Needy Streamer Overload. I have a few ideas for what I might do with it,
but I won't mention them here. There's also quite alot of other stuff I've added not relating to Needy Streamer Overload. But they haven't been linked anywhere
yet because I don't know exactly where to put them.
I don't plan on doing an entry here every day. My mom just asked me a couple of interesting questions today. She asked me if I liked staying inside,
mostly in my room all day, and that if I was lonely. I responded that I wasn't lonely, but I can't even tell myself. Am I lonely or not? I don't feel the need for
physical contact from others, or to even see others. But... there definitely could be some room in my life for other people. Then again, meeting new people is an issue.
I don't want to meet new people. The less people that know me the better.
Now this is something that actually sounds like it belongs in a page called "Make me sad." Today my pet ferret Noodle wasn't feeling good, so my mom and dad took her to the vet. I was here at home for, what? An hour or something? Scrolling through Reddit and such. When my mom got back, I didn't notice at first, but she was very distressed. Noodled had... alot of tumors, and there was nothing the vet could do about it. We either have to watch her suffer, or put her down. We had just sat in my room for a bit. My mom asked me if I wanted to hold Noodle, or say goodbye, but I didn't asnwer. It makes me feel selfish, I think. That's totally understandable though, right? I didn't even cry, or tear up. Was I holding back? Before they had to leave back to the vet with Noodle so they could- yeah, I took a nap. I didn't even know, but Noodle was sleeping with me the whole time I was asleep. Maybe my brain, or body somehow knew that something like this was coming for Noodle? I haven't felt very well for the past like, 9 days. An exception is Christmas... I think it would be very hard to not enjoy Christmas while you're still a child. Time to go look at shitposts or something... Bye.
(PS) She came home and we ate McDonalds.
Today is New Years Eve, and I have to go somewhere. Of course, obviously I have to go somewhere, why would I not? Most families meet up with eachother to celebrate the new year, but if it were up to me, I wouldn't be going. I'm not too salty about it because it was inevitable, I doubt my father wants to go either. I don't think I can bring my laptop because my mom will be worried something will happen to it. That's reasonable, no argument... A little argument. (maybe?) I have to meet some NEW kid or whatever that's part of the family or some shit, I'm real salty about that. I don't want to meet new people! I don't want to broaden my horizons! That sucks. There's way too many people on this planet for me not to be subjected to NEW PEOPLE. It's not so annoying that the new kid will be there, it just annoys me that my mom expects me to want to meet up and be friends with the kid. Who is apparently my uncle or something? Fucked up family am I right? I'll update this log when I'm home...
I'm back, it's 4 AM. My mom had me bring my Xbox so me and that kid could play games on it. I had fun with that kid, I really did, but I still wish I never met anyone new. I don't know why I'm like this> I just wish I was a nobody, that I had no identity to anybody at all. Um, anyways. We played a couple of games, we played Guilty Gear -STRIVE-, Blazblue: Cross Tag Battle, Goat Simulator 3, and Spiderheck. Other than normal New Years stuff, that's kind of it.
Been having a shitty time.
I did something very irresponsible yesterday.
Hiii! hiii!!1!1 hello!!!1 So like...